Faludy György: Vienna, 1930 (Bécs, 1930 in English)

Portre of Faludy György

Bécs, 1930 (Hungarian)

Diák voltam itt három évig.
Ma sem tudom, miért szerettem
e várost. Hófedte utcáin
versenyt futottam a szelekkel,
éheztem hosszan és titokban,
az élet értelmét kutattam,
lengő cégtáblákkal, padokkal
barátkoztam s szökőkutakkal,
majd a színésznő, kinek taknyos
voltam, s kire a sarkon három,
négy, öt órát vártam, míg megjött,
de ezt nem bántam s most se bánom,
Thomas Mannért és Karl Krausért
rajongtam, festményeket néztem
a múzeumokban vasárnap
reggel, s nem voltam boldog mégsem,
bár a reményt nem adtam fel, hogy
hamar meghalok tüdővészben.
S mindezt azért, mert sok rossz verset
írtam s azt hittem: egyre jobbak,
letisztáztam szép gyöngybetűkkel,
s hazaküldtem a hírlapoknak,
s hogy lapozgattam a friss példányt
a kioszk előtt, sívó szélben,
esőben! Mindhiába; mégcsak
a szerkesztő sem üzent nékem,
csak egyszer. Így szólt: hagyja abba!
Ettől végleg elkeseredtem.
Híres költő akartam lenni,
és beláttam, hogy lehetetlen.



PublisherPüski, New York, N.Y.
Source of the quotationFaludy György összegyűjtött versei. p. 354.

Vienna, 1930 (English)

Here for two years I lived as a university student.
I still have no idea why I was so enamoured
of this city. Along its snow-covered streets
I raced and battled with the wind.
I almost starved, at length and in secret,
I went out searching for the meaning of life,
I established friendships with overhanging signs
and with park benches and with fountains,
then with an actress for whom I was an understudy
and for whom I waited around at streetcorners
three, four, five hours until she would arrive,
but I did not mind this nor do I mind it now.
I raved about Thomas Mann and Karl Kraus,
examined the paintings in the Kunsthistorisches,
on Sunday mornings when the galleries were free,
and despite it all I was never even happy
though never once did I give up hope
that I would soon die of consumption.
And all of this because of what I wrote,
a lot of execrable poetry which I believed was improving.
I copied my poems out with perfect penmanship
and posted them home to the daily newspapers.
How I would turn the pages of the latest issues
in front of the kiosk in the shrill wind
and pouring rain! In vain; not once was my name in print,
only once did a literary editor bother to reply.
What he wrote back was terse: Why bother?
This was enough to depress and deflate me for years.
I wanted to become a famous poet
but was forced to admit that this was impossible.



PublisherThe University of Georgia Press, Athens
Source of the quotationSelected Poems of George Faludy. Ed. Robin Skelton. p. 106.

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