Damari Jasenovački (Serbian)
(Nijemi oratorijum za prošle i buduće) 1. Nevin zalogaj (Glas preplašene djevojčice, uz pratnju trube od vrbove kore s piskom od ljeskovine s kozarski prisoja) Kuda me vode, kuda mi te vode? Čemu vrisak jutra, plač jasenova? Zašto rijeka jeca, brda zašto suze i nijemi vapaj nebesa doziva? Ne daj me, mama, ostani sa mnom. Žicu što nas dijeli sprži vrelom suzom, zarij nokte u tminu, prokrči put oku i ruku pruži ukočenu. Jutro s uma sišlo, vučje čeljusti žderu komad dana, podne tetura po žednoj prašini, raspamećeno sunce ište vode, znoja; i krv bi da žeđ utoli. Samo sudba muklo iz prikrajka vreba nevin zalogaj. Čuješ li lavež? Iz mračnih pećina dolaze stoglavi zmajevi, vode vilenjake. Preklinjem te, mama, pruži mi ruku. Neću u zvjerinjak, ne daj me nikom. Hoću tvoja njedra i na njima san, topal kao mlijeko, mirisniji od pogače rumene na trpezi. Ne daj me, mama, u tvom zagrljaju biću samo drhtaj, klupko damara, i nikada neću iskati kruha nedostižnog. 2. Jauk večeri (Grca za dan ostarjela majka; samo joj u oku vatra. Moguć diskretan zvuk flaute, tanan kao da dopire iz sna) Skutren u paviti, ogrnut maglom, skončava ranjen dan. Jauče veče. Naš djelić vasione osvaja noć. U blato kaplju zvijezde, krastače žabe žderu njihov sjaj. Bljuje nebo tamu. Zemlja kostima bremenita utrobu bolnu krije od pogleda. Počinje bludni pir satanskih kama nezasitih. Kuda mi te vode, kuda me vode Ko drumove mrsi u čvor bespuća? Premosti ponor i pruži mi ruku, drhtaje tvoje hoću da osjetim na grudima svojim. O, čedo moje, nevene rumeni, od tratinčica vijenac što si mi ga plela, čizma grubo gazi, u prašinu pretvara nepovratno. Nemoćne mi ruke ranjava usud. U duši pustoš. Kosu raspletenu kljuju crne ptice, u praznoj duplji ugasli sjaj oka traže, ptiće da nahrane. Zove noć na gozbu bola. Vidiš li, diko, oganj na Planini? Pamti puteve zgarištu što vode, plamičke gledaj, za povratak to su putokazi. 3. Prazno gnijezdo (Bolno cvili majka kojoj su oteli nerođeno dijete; najprije u daljini, potom u približavanju, grmljavina gromova) Kob je odbravila paklena vrata, stud daždom krvavim ognjišta škropi, sofra korovom obrasla, ni mrsa na njoj, ni soli; samo klupko guja ljetinu tamani. Prazna gnijezda natkrilili kopci. U vrutke mutne skrio se muk. Predaka davnih kletva stiže li nas, ili je nevremena predskazanje? Vatra u mozgu, led mi u utrobi. Šta traži kama tamo gdje je nježni izvor prapočela, u odaji sna zar čeliku je ležaj? Drhti dašak života životu još neuk, uza se ledene pelene privija. Zraka ište pupoljak, a zraka se boji. O, sudbo, u utrobi mojoj kosmos zadrhtao. Žuč plod omotala, postelju tvrdu u trnju mu sprema. Pjevaju mrtvi u horu nijemom. Nabrekle dojke plaču u pomami, mlijeko traži damare potomstva. Utroba prazna, ohola pustoš u njoj bol gnijezdi. Skončalo i proviđenje. Zar ne znaš, kamo, da je kosmos cijeli jedna materica? 4. Sramni konjanici (Tiho, uz tamburu trožicu, govori djevojka koja još nije život spoznala) U čednost moju prodrli uljezi. Divlje mustange gvožđem potkovali, na kopita im koplja postavili, oklope tvrde trnjem iskitili i sada haraju beskrajem nade, požudu tole sramni konjanici. Na latici jutra, tek propupaloj, otvaraju rane, trgaju niti praiskona. U njedrima tajne, ni pomisao gdje kročila nije, vatreni korbač plamen je tražio, a našao led. Čujem topot. Pod kopitama drhti sva Planeta. Zar ptica da ostane u tutnju neranjena? U krletki sanja draganu sam svome goluba čuvala, a golubu mome krila podrezali. Da li su suroviji konji ili jahači? Vri bol u duši. U ambis, u trbuh napaćene zemlje pada nebo. Zvijezde lednim sjajem tješe ukroćene vulkane. Čednost moja roni nijeme suze. Bez oslonca ostaje kosmos. Hoće li ždrijepci podivljali pregaziti embrion vasione? 5. Brodovi i brodari (Pjeva hor mrtvih, bez muzičke pratnje; čak je suvišan i reski psik kame) Ižednjela Rijeka ište naša tijela, oni joj ih daju. Svikli da gubimo, duž beznadnih obala u vodi čudne brodove gradimo i tako bivamo istovremeno i brodovi i brodari. Kormila polomljena pa uprkos razumu brodovlje nam plovi od ušća ka izvorištu. Žeđ da utoli, u svoju maticu, u krvotok hladni, popucale vene iz naših tijela Rijeka spaja, i vodotokom krv tmasta otiče u prapočelo. Virovi prijete, kob oluje sprema, nemani gladne razjapljenih ralja traže zalogaj. Ali, šta nam mogu? Mi smo već danas uspomena. Plove mrtve lađe kraj divljih njiva, oranicama korov ižđikao, znoj zemlja ište, krv joj mrtvu daju da iskon snage njene zavaraju. Život je zamka za naivne, vatra što gasne nenadano. Ostaje nam samo Planetu da prekoračimo i smjelo nadom zakoračimo u univerzum. 6. Kosci i otkosi (Hor snažnih a nenadano sputanih muškaraca, uz čobansku pjesmu i sjetni zvuk dvojnice) Pod strehama trošnim samuju kose, varcarke ljute u korov gledaju, u trave zelene i prezrela žita, čekaju muška snaga da se vrati. Snatre u dosadi, prkose gromu oštrim vrhovima, podatno suncu sječiva britka nude. I htjele bi da pjesma umjesto vriska odjekne kosilištem. Snagu mišića priželjkuju kose, prašnjavi klepac i vodijer stari, pa bi u livade, u rosu, u žar; i kamen bi ljuti, i zmiji glavu, i pčeli žaoku, i draču trnje, sve bi u otkose. Al' snage nema. Muk na plandištima. Skriven u šušnju mre život i nemoć baulja pustim drumovima. Snagu hoće kose, a naša snaga, kamom sputana, u žicama kopni. Drugi su kosci dograbili kose i sada pomamno, mjesto u vodu, u krv močila umaču, travu traže među lobanjama. Vene bi naše u snoplje, prkos da ukrote. Kosci više nismo. Samo smo brojevi u otkosima. 7. Jasenka među jasenovima (Govori se uz vrlo tihu klavirsku pratnju koja nadjačava kanonadu topova) Zagledan u ljepotu travke, tamo iza žice, koju stražareva noga još zgazila nije, kostur je jedan, opčinjen bogatstvom rajske trpeze, vidio leptira. Kroz vrisak i jauk, tananom niti što smrt od života razdvaja, radost je s krila šarenih, okrznuvši travku, u zgasli pogled pohrlila. Bijedo nebeska, pohlepi sklona, da li vidiš raskoš ovozemaljsku? Travka i leptir u vremenu istom, u istoj vaseljeni. Čovjeku da l' treba više? Bljesak sa kame u kal uranja, stidi se bljesak sjaja svog, sunce bi u goru, u vodu, u mrak, i dan se srami, ništavna mu svjetlost skamenjena. Odjednom škripnu kostur. Mrak sprži sve. Ostade samo travka i ostade leptir. I čudo se zbi: sjedinjeni, prkoseći prahu i nevremenu, leptir i travka čedo iznjedriše, djevojku vitu od snova sazdanu. I Jasenka među jasenovima vito kolo vodi, mrtvoga traži kolovođu. 8. Bajka o srcu (Pjeva mješoviti hor, uz vedru orkestarsku pratnju) Kuca mrtvo srce, tihi damari svemir uzdrmali. Pred snagom klice što iz njega buja drhte planine, rijeke tok mijenjaju, u nova korita vodu bi i sputanu moć. Strahuje čelik pred krilom leptira, oluje strašne zaustavlja dašak, niti sna lome okove i žice podivljale. Nad grobnicama raste bujna trava. Za zelen njenu kuca mrtvo srce – u vodi, u ognju, na zgarištima. U veni zri nada. Izrasta cvijet iz sveloga stabla, latice rosne pruža ka Planini, hoće istinu da nadraste, prašnikom da oplodi tučak vasione i da dosegne nemoguće. S lica dana sunce razgoni maglu, oblaci nova utočišta traže. Kuca mrtvo srce. Mrske nemani u nigdinu bježe, u neprohodu da neizlječive rane vidaju bez vidara. Vidicima tijesno u očima. Na zgarištu raskovnik izlistao, iz svakog lista rastu stolisnici. |
Thrombs of Jasenovac (English)
(Mute oratorio for the past and future)
1. Innocent mouthful
(Voice of a frightened girl followed by the trumpet made of the willow’s bark with a mouthpiece made of hazel with origin from the sunny side of mountain Kozara)
Where are they taking me, where are they taking you?
Why that morning’s cry, wail of ash-trees?
Why is the river weeping, why is the mountain shedding tears and
Why is the mute wail calling the heavens?
Don’t let them take me, mommy, stay with me.
Burn the wire that separates us with your hot tear,
Bury your nails into the darkness,
Clear the path to your eye and stretch your
Stiff arm.
The morning lost its mind, wolf’s jaws
Are greedily eating a chunk of the day,
The noon is staggering all over the thirsty dust,
Mad sun is asking for some water, some sweat;
And it would quench its thirst with some blood too.
Only the fate, with half an eye, is lurking for
an innocent bite. Can you hear the growl?
Out of dark caves dragons with hundred heads arrive,
Along with elves.
I beg you, mommy, give me your hand.
I don’t want to go to the menagerie, don’t let them
Take me. I want your bosom and my dream there,
Warm as milk, more sweet scented than a ruddy
Bread loaf on the dining table.
Don’t let them, mommy, take me away,
I’ll be just a shiver in your embrace, hank of throbs
And I will never ask for some
Inconceivable bread.
2. The moaning of the evening
(A mother who got old for a day is sobbing; there is a spark in her eye yet. Possible discreet sound of a flute, delicate like it is coming from a dream.)
Hunched in weed, embraced by fog,
Wounded day is dying slowly. The evening is
Bawling. Night overcame our part of the universe.
The stars are dripping into the mud,
Toads are devouring their glitter; The sky is spitting
The darkness. The soil, burdened with bones,
Is hiding its painful womb from greedy eyes.
The lewd feast of satanic greedy bayonets
Is beginning.
Where are they taking you, where are they
Taking me? Who is entangling the roads
Into the knot of hopelessness? Bridge the abyss and
Give me your hand, I want to feel your shivers
On my bosom. Oh, my babe, my rosy marigold,
Who knitted for me a wreath of daisies,
Someone’s boot is marching crudely
Over it, turning it
Into dust.
My weak arms are being wounded by fate. Bleakness
In my soul. Black birds are pecking at
Disentangled hair, looking for faded sparkle in an eye
In an empty eye socket. The night is inviting to
A feast of pain. Can you see, my pride,
That blaze in the Mountain? Remember
The paths leading to the burnt-out ruins,
Look at the flickers that are signposts
To take you home.
Note: disentangled hair is the sign of mourning for the lost loved ones.
3. An empty nest
(Mother, who has stayed without her unborn child, is painfully wailing; at first from afar and then becoming closer the sound of thundering)
Doom has unlocked the gates of hell,
Cold is splashing the fireplace with bloody rain,
Dining table is overgrown with weeds,
There’s no butter on it, nor salt; only a bundle
Of serpents are rooting out the harvest.
Sparrow-hawks have covered empty nests
Stillness is hidden in the muddy springs.
Has the curse of our ancestors reached us or is it
A prophecy of a storm?
Fire in my brain, ice in my womb.
What is the bayonet looking for at the place
Where the source of the origin is;
What is the cold bayonet looking for in the chamber of dreams?
The whiff of life, not accustomed to life yet, is shivering,
Clutching cold diapers around its body.
A bud is asking for some air, but yet afraid of it.
Oh, you adverse fate, the whole cosmos has shivered
In my womb.
Bile has wrapped up the embryo, making
The hard bed in the thorns. The dead are singing
In the mute choir. Swollen breasts full of milk
Are crying in a delirious, the milk is looking
For the throbs of posterity. The womb is empty,
Only the mean bleakness is building a nest for the pain.
And the providence has passed away too.
Don’t you know, you bayonet, that the whole
Universe is a womb only?
4. Disgraceful horse riders
(Quietly, with the three-stringed tambourine, the girl who hasn’t lived the life yet is speaking)
Intruders have penetrated into my chastity. They
Have iron-shod the wild mustangs, they have
Put spikes on their hoofs, and decorated firm
Armours with thorns and now they are devastating
Through the infinity of hope; disgraceful horse riders
Are satiating their desires. On the petal of
The morning, just budded they are making
Inflicting wounds, tearing the
Primordial threads.
In the bosom of secret, where not even
A thought had stepped yet, the fiery whip
Was looking for a flame but found only the ice.
I can hear the clip-clop.
The whole Planet is trembling under the hoofs.
Can a bird a bird stay unharmed in the roar?
In the cage of dreams I have kept a pigeon
For my darling, but they have clipped
My pigeon’s wings.
Who is more callous, horses or the horse riders?
The pain in the soul is boiling. Into the abyss,
The belly of tormented land, the sky is falling.
With icy glow the stars are consoling
Tamed volcanoes. My chastity is weeping
With numb tears. The cosmos stays without
Support. Will the wild colts run down
Over the embryo of the
Universe.
5. Boats and boatmen
(Choir of the dead is singing, without music, even the sharp sound of a bayonet is unnecessary)
Thirsty River is asking for our bodies,
They are giving them to it. Used to losing,
We build strange boats in the water
Along hopeless banks and so become
Boats and boatmen at the same time.
But against the common sense
Our boats, with broken rudders
Are sailing from the mouth towards
The spring.
To quench its thirst, in its main current,
In its cold bloodstream, the River is joining
Broken veins from our bodies and through
The bloodstream the heavy blood is draining off
Into the origin. Whirlpools are threatening,
Fate is threatening with storms, hungry
Monsters with wide open jaws
Are looking for a bite. But what can they do to us?
We are already a memory.
Dead boats are sailing by wild fields
The weed has grown fast in the plowed fields,
Soil is asking for some sweat, they are giving
The dead blood to deceive the origin of its strength.
Life is a trap for the innocent; fire that dies out
Unexpectedly. And there is only a hope that
we shall succeed to overstep the Planet
and make a step
Into the universe.
6. Haymakers and swaths
(Choir made of strong but unexpectedly tamed men, with the shepherds’ song followed by the sound of flute)
Under the ruinous eaves, scythes are leading a lonely life,
Steely adders are looking at the weed,
At the green grass and over-riped corns,
Waiting for the manly strength to come back.
They’re daydreaming in the boredom, defying
The thunder with sharp peaks, pliably offering
To the sun their keen cutting edges. And they would like
Song to echo over the fields instead of
Painful screams.
Scythes are hoping for the strength of muscles,
Dusty scythe-sharpening hammer and the old water bowl,
They would like to go into meadows, into dews,
Into embers; they would like to transform even
The firm rock and the snake’s head, and bee’s sting,
And bramble’s thorns into the swaths. But there’s no strength.
There is stillness on shady places for rest. The life, hidden
In the crackle of leaves, is dying and the weakness is crawling
In empty roads.
Scythes want the strength, but our strength
Bound by bayonets is thawing in wires.
Other haymakers have grabbed the scythes
And now greedily, instead into the water, they
Are dipping steepers into blood,
Looking for the grass between skulls. They would like
To transfer our veins into sheaves, our spite to tame.
We are no haymakes any more. We are only pierced numbers
In the swaths.
7. Ashy between ash-trees
(Spoken followed by a very quiet sound of the piano which sounds louder than the cannonade of cannons)
Staring at the beauty of a wisp,
There, behind the wire, the one that guard’s foot
Hadn’t crushed yet, one skeleton, fascinated
With/by the riches of paradisiacal dining table,
Saw a butterfly. Through the scream and shriek
With a delicate thread that separates death from life,
The joy has from the mottledwings,
Scratching the wisp, hurried into the
Extinguished gaze.
Heavenly misery, bent on greed,
Can you see this mundane luxury?
A wisp and a butterfly in the same time,
In the same universe. Does the man need anything
Else? Flash of a bayonet is dipping into the mud,
Flash is ashamed of its own glow.
Sunshine would like to go into the mountain,
Water into darkness, a day is ashamed too.
Its worthless light is petrified.
Suddenly the skeleton has creaked.
The darkness has burnt everything.
There is only a wisp and only a butterfly
Is left. And the miracle happened:
A butterfly and a wisp united, facing the dust
And the storm, created a babe, a slender girl
Made of dreams. And Ashy between the ash-trees
A dance of life is dancing, looking for the dead
Leading dancer.
8. Fairy tale about the heart
(Mixed choir is singing, followed by a cheerful sound of an orchestra)
Dead heart is beating, quiet throbs have shaken
The universe. Facing the strength of a germ that flourish
Out of it the mountains are trembling,
Rivers change their streams, they would like to direct
Their bound power into the new river beds.
The steel is afraid of the butterfly’s wing,
Breath of air is stopping the frightening storms,
Threads of dreams are breaking the chains and
The wild wires.
Lush grass is growing over the tombs.
Dead heart is beating for her greenery –
In the water, in the fire, on the burnt-out ruins.
The hope is ripening in a vein.
The flower is springing up out of the
Wizened tree, stretching out its dewy petals
Toward the Mountain, wishing to outgrow the truth,
To fertilize the pistil of the universe with its anther
And to reach the impossible.
The sun is dispersing fog from the
Face of a day, clouds are looking for new shelters.
Dead heart is beating. Hateful, loathsome
Monsters are running away into unknown places,
In the ruggedness to heal their incurable wounds without
A healer. It is tight for sights in the eyes. On the
Burnt-out ruins the mystic flower has become covered
With leaves, out of each leaf another hundred leaves
Are getting new lives.
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